Personals

Personals and Friend Finder For Fun and Love…

Dating isn’t always easy, however, you can still indulge and enjoy a richer experience as a single person…

Would you call yourself a good communicator? Is conversion something you can do? Is good communication guaranteed to make your dates ten times better?

“Good conversation is the bread and butter of social skills anyone can learn to use. Wherever you go, and you can turn a stranger into a confidant, an interviewer into an employer and an acquaintance into a friend.

A good conversationalist means you’ll be welcomed everywhere; everyone loves a good communicator because it is joyful and fun.”

What if you’re already mastering the art of conversation?

What kind of people enjoy being around you and look forward to talking to you? If you’re dating does a good conversationalists make the difference between getting a second date and never hearing from a person again?

The key to good conversation is to get outside of yourself and be aware of other people…who they are, what they care about, what interests them, what they enjoy.

We all want to put our best foot forward when we’re getting to know someone new; but you’ll be much more attractive if you focus more on showing interest in the person you’re out with, as opposed to talking only about the things that you care most about.

Here are a some suggestions for making your part of the conversation less egocentric which makes you more interesting and attractive…

You don’t have to pull your hair out, you just want to prepare for your date by coming up with interesting conversation topics. For example, be ready with a couple of funny stories and some thoughts on current events or pop culture. Work these into the conversation naturally.

Also, prepare some questions and thoughts based on what you know about your date. If you’ve visited with the person before, follow up on something from the previous conversation.

Get an update on that issue at work or the problem with the landlord. It’s also a good idea to read up on your date’s hobbies or job, simply so you can ask good questions. This will show your interest and make the conversation more meaningful to you as well.

Listening is the hallmark of any good communicator, the ability to ask good questions is the initial step with follow-ups. This communicates your interest in people and gives them the chance to talk about what they care about.

The key is asking good questions to draw people closer to you. For example, questions that get a yes or no  response (“Do you like Italian food?”) aren’t nearly as effective as open-ended questions that allow for more discussion (“Where’s the best place you know for pasta?”).

Just relax and don’t be too open-ended (“What have you been up to lately?”). Instead, ask specific questions that are easier to answer (“What happened on the last date you were nervous about?”).

What’s most important is you ask the kinds of easy questions that generate a ping-pong effect and let comfortable back-and-forth responses between you and the person you’re talking with.

You want to make your date or friend to feel valued and interesting, you can demonstrate your interest in someone verbally (like when you ask good questions), just don’t underestimate the importance of the nonverbal messages you send during a conversation.

Pay attention to your body language, could your slumping communicate that you’re bored, or could your crossed arms say that you’re not open to what’s being said?

Don’t feel distracted by other people in the room, by your phone, or by the football game on the TV in the bar. Instead, lean in towards your date (not too close), smile and make it clear you’re really focusing on him or her.

Much of this comes down to simply listening and tune into what’s being said. Don’t let your mind wander or plan ahead how you’re going to respond. Just relax and focus on the other person in the moment.

After all, we all love to have fun “feel understood” by another person, the sense that someone totally in this moment with us and what we’re saying, and feeling understood.

That’s the kind of person we’re going to feel attracted to and be willing to share. Being a good listener mean also sharing yourself along the way as well. It’s true that you don’t want to monopolize a conversation, but it’s also important to hold up your end of the discussion.

As you probably already know, it’s not much fun to spend an hour or two with someone who only asks questions like an interrogator or who won’t fulfill his or her own conversational responsibilities.

For example, if someone asks, “Do you have a favorite band?” don’t respond with the one-word answer “Yes.” There’s a bit of give and take, an exchange of energy and information between you and your date.

So you’re basically fulfilling your responsibilities by showing you’re interested and are interesting. A good conversationalist does both, not just one or the other.

Knowing you’ve prepared for your date and thought through allows you to relax and simply enjoy yourself as well. You don’t have to fill every second of silence or laugh too hard at every joke.

What’s most important is that you be yourself and that you make an effort to show who you are and get to know who the other person is as well. Yes, dating can be stressful, but it should also be enjoyable.

So once you’ve prepared yourself, try to focus on just having fun while you chat with the person you’re out with. Want more than just a dating service?  Here is your one-stop solution for finding new friends, romance, activity partners or whatever you’re looking for to help build your friend network!

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