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Try to look at this endeavor not as a prospective husband/wife hunt but as an effort to make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends.
Friends that you can laugh aloud with, friends who make you laugh. Not everyone can make us laugh, and when I say laugh, I am not referring to some comedian. We are talking about friends here.
It really does pay to have a lot of friends. It makes ones life richer. The best thing about friends is that you can be yourself with them. And they too can be themselves with you…that means letting it all out.
A lot of people tend to look at their friends as separate. Is a friend someone you can share your dreams and fears with?
Someone who understands and who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong and someone who can brighten up your darkest day?
All this is a very far cry from sex right? That is why we did mention earlier that looks and sex should be the last criteria in the selection of a life partner.
The dating must come as a natural sequence and it is by no means the first thing that comes out as soon as you warm up to a person. Maybe you want to establish the same tastes before saying…”let’s go on a date.”
You can say that of course but it would not be in very good taste. So what do you do if you discover that one of the friends that you made and the one who you were keeping your fingers crossed about is already dating?
The answer is simple, just run over that person’s date and remove the unwanted element, right? You can still be friends with that person and shift your attention towards another direction…
Who knows, you might even find a better person that’s just perfect for you, all you do is shuffle your new deck of cards and deal them out again 
I hope you have got the hang of what we meant by working backwards now?
Good. There is another catch involved in this process. There is a chance one of the friends you made may have read this site and maybe the proposal may come from the other end. If it does, well and good; for it saves you the ritual.
In other words, it is the easiest thing to get someone to sleep with you but what if you are looking for something more enduring, like a partner for life?
Then you are going to have to be a little more patient. The pick of the litter is not easy to find. But you do find it; it is going to be worth the effort.
So instead of going into a singles’ chat room, what you could do is you could try the whole thing out from a different angle.
Here’s why you could try working backwards…
More Than Just Good Looks
Sit for a minute or two and try and think about the things that interest you and things that you would find interesting in a person.
By ‘things’ over here I am not referring to physical attributes. I am not referring to something that might interest you in a person’s physical appearance.
Again the distinction has to be drawn between a serious relationship and a casual relationship. In a casual relationship, the importance is always for the physical attributes.
We are more concerned with what the person looks like and what the person has been endowed with.
On the other hand, if we have a serious relationship, then the physical qualities are not so important.
Compatibility is probably the most important factor over here. Along with that there are certain qualities that obviously we will be looking out for. We are talking about qualities of the mind. After all, beauty is only skin deep!
This idea might sound strange, but it is actually true. The idea is that it is possible to grow to like the looks of a person.
Once you find the character of the person agreeable you will start liking the person as a whole. It is entirely possible to fall in love with a person if the person does not look like a movie star.
Is That One Of The Tricks Nature Plays?
There are many people who insist on taking a look at the other person’s picture before actually committing to a relationship.
They might have their reasons of course, but I, for one, feel that such a decision based largely on looks is more suitable for a casual relationship. It is bound to sizzle off after some time.
After all, how long can you keep staring at a person? And what happens if the person doesn’t stare back at you?
Or even worse, what happens if you find the person staring at another person?
Looks may be important, but they certainly are not the most important thing and should never be used as the deciding factor if you are thinking about a serious relationship.
What About Common Interests
A man or woem is not like a piece of glass though which you can look and see the other side.
You are more like a diamond, which when held against light reflects and deflects light so that a myriad of colors are seen.
People are indeed complex…
We have a lot of interest and the interests of one person need not match with the interests of another. But thankfully the interests are not as numerous.
So we are bound to find a lot of people who share our interests. And if we can find someone like that, then our search should end there. So, what are your interests? That is something for you to find out.
Mind you, you might have to do some serious thinking before you level down you preferences. There might be a lot of things that you enjoy doing but about which you have given a second thought.
Your interests could be something like sports, outdoor activities or you could think of interests like social work or cross-words or religious interests.
Keep the ball rolling; please understand that the words I have listed here are mere suggestions.
Your tastes and interests could be very different. So let them be. And once you have decided on what your interests are then half the story is done.
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